Video Game Review: Snailboy 2 | Geek Node Archive

Developer Thoopid
Publisher Self Published
Distributor Self Distributed
Where we got our copy Thoopid
Genre Platformer
Game modes Single Player
Players 1
Where to buy iTunes App Store

Constantine104

Published February 23, 2017

Is a snail still a snail if it doesn’t have a shell?

This is the type of question that I pondered over to amuse myself while playing Snailboy 2: Rise of Hermitron, and I really did need to amuse myself.

Let me break this down, Snailboy 2 is a mobile platformer that utilizes a similar control system to what we’ve become accustomed to in games like Angry Birds.

You play as Snailboy who has had his shell stolen, journeying through the depths of the ocean, where an evil hermit crab known as Hermitron is taking over the underwater kingdom. It is up to you to take down Hermitron and restore peace and harmony to the world once more.

Now here’s where I’m going to get real with you about how I feel and break down the ‘Key Features’ that they advertise Snailboy having:

“Explore and play the first 5 levels absolutely FREE”

Okay, so what this means is that you can download the game for free and after 5 easy levels (maybe 10 minutes of solid playing time) you get charged $3.99 to continue.

It’s right there that I have my first problem. I buy lots of mobile games, so I know what a reasonable price for a certain type of mobile game is and what is…let’s say, not so much. Snailboy, unfortunately, falls into the latter category.

Let me put it this way, games like Five Nights At Freddy’s, the Lego games and 60 Seconds are all under the $3.99 mark and then the “AAA” mobile titles like Don’t Starve, Goat Simulator, Octodad, I am Bread, Limbo, and NBA 2k17 come in at $4.99.

So is Snailboy worth its $3.99 price tag? No. No, it is not. Also, that’s not the only money you’ll spend, the game still has optional microtransactions for lives, boosts etc when you’re in-game.

“Experience an exciting mix of ACTION and EXPLORATION.

SLING, STICK, SWIM and HOP through 25 LEVELS”

So I’m going to be addressing these next points together as a unit.

Firstly, you do not swim, you merely have the ability to guide Snailboy in whichever diagonal direction you want him to sink to the ocean floor.

There is also no action, action implies that there is a certain sense of speed or of impending doom, this game has none of that. I have never in my life felt more like a snail and I did not like it. Not one bit.

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As for the last bit about Hopping and Slinging, there are literally no other ways to move your snail around. You either hop forward at the most excruciatingly slow pace you could imagine, or you fling yourself around aimlessly as if you’re an Angry Bird who doesn’t have a Pig.

“FIND secret caves with hidden treasures.

EARN Achievement badges for every level.

DEFEAT the BOSS LEVEL and save the Kingdom”

These points I’m also tackling as a group; the achievement badges are literally just for finishing the level and then collecting the ‘Slimies” that literally lead you towards the end of the level – pretty standard stuff.

Then there is 1 ‘Secret Cave’ to find per level, but none of them are really very ‘secret’ and shouldn’t take you longer than one good look around to find as all of their entrances are marked by a white glowing light, and honestly, defeating a boss level is not a feature, that’s just video games.

“Set off on an incredible adventure with AMAZING VISUALS”

Now we get to the part that I did love, the visuals.

The game looks AMAZING. There was obviously a lot of effort put into the in-game art and the posters.

The intro video is really epic and the voice acting that they used for it really works well, I found myself missing the voice acting in the game itself though but that’s because it really brings the whole game to life I feel.

But unfortunately, that’s about all I enjoy.

One person online who gave it a 5-star rating wrote “Only giving it a 5 because of the cool logo” and they aren’t wrong, the logo and the rest of the art really do make the game shine and deserve a much higher rating than what the game will allow it to receive from me.

All in all, it’s not a horrible game, but it’s not good either. It’s mediocre.

When I first started writing this review I thought that maybe I was being overly harsh so I spent the last week passing my phone around to random friends and family and asking them to play Snailboy for a bit and tell me what they thought of it and this is what I found:

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Just about every time that I handed the game to someone they went “Ooh what’s this, this looks NICE” and then, under 2 minutes later I was handed the phone back with a solemn “Yea.. Just no”

Snailboy, albeit pretty, brings nothing new to an already saturated and popular genre. You could play it, yes, but you could also play any number of games that are almost identical and just way better.

Is a snail still a snail if it doesn't have a shell? This is the type of question that I pondered over to amuse myself while playing Snailboy 2: Rise of Hermitron, and I really did need to amuse myself. Let me break this down, Snailboy 2 is a mobile platformer that utilizes a similar control system to what we've become accustomed to in games like Angry Birds. You play as Snailboy who has had his shell stolen, journeying through the depths of the ocean, where an evil hermit crab known as Hermitron is taking over the underwater kingdom. It is up to you to take down Hermitron and restore peace and harmony to the world once more. Now here's where I'm going to get real with you about how I feel and break down the 'Key Features' that they advertise Snailboy having: "Explore and play the first 5 levels absolutely FREE" Okay, so what this means is that you can download the game for free and after 5 easy levels (maybe 10 minutes of solid playing time) you get charged $3.99 to continue. It's right there that I have my first problem. I buy lots of mobile games, so I know what a reasonable price for a certain type of mobile game is and what is...let's say, not so much. Snailboy, unfortunately, falls into the latter category. Let me put it this way, games like Five Nights At Freddy's, the Lego games and 60 Seconds are all under the $3.99 mark and then the "AAA" mobile titles like Don't Starve, Goat Simulator, Octodad, I am Bread, Limbo, and NBA 2k17 come in at $4.99. So is Snailboy worth its $3.99 price tag? No. No, it is not. Also, that's not the only money you'll spend, the game still has optional microtransactions for lives, boosts etc when you're in-game. "Experience an exciting mix of ACTION and EXPLORATION. SLING, STICK, SWIM and HOP through 25 LEVELS" So I'm going to be addressing these next points together as a unit. Firstly, you do not swim, you merely have the ability to guide Snailboy in whichever diagonal direction you want him to sink to the ocean floor. There is also no action, action implies that there is a certain sense of speed or of impending doom, this game has none of that. I have never in my life felt more like a snail and I did not like it. Not one bit. As for the last bit about Hopping and Slinging, there are literally no other ways to move your snail around. You either hop forward at the most excruciatingly slow pace you could imagine, or you fling yourself around aimlessly as if you're an Angry Bird who doesn't have a Pig. "FIND secret caves with hidden treasures. EARN Achievement badges for every level. DEFEAT the BOSS LEVEL and save the Kingdom" These points I'm also tackling as a group; the achievement badges are literally just for finishing the level and then collecting…

Video Game Review: Snailboy 2

2017-02-23

Constantine104

Total - 3

30 3

At the end of the day I just didn't like Snailboy, but I'm just one person, not everyone is the same - so if you think the game looks cool then give it a shot and leave me a comment telling me what you thought