Title: Movie Reviews: Goosebumps
Author: Desolation Morris
Recovered Author: Desolation Morris
Published Date: 2015-11-13
Original URL: https://geeknode.co.za/2015/11/movie-reviews-goosebumps
Wayback URL: https://web.archive.org/web/20170729084754id_/http://www.geeknode.co.za/2015/11/movie-reviews-goosebumps/
Recovery Confidence: high
Categories: Movie Review
Tags: featured, Film, Goosebumps, Goosebumps Movie Review, Jack Black, Movie Review, Movies

- Genre Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy
- Director Rob Letterman
- Producer Neal H. Moritz, Deborah Forte
- Actors Jack Black, Dylan Minnette, Odeya Rush
- Where we got our copy Ster Kinekor
- Reviewed on Cinema (2D)
- Available on Cinema (2D), Cinema (3D), DVD, Bluray, IMax

- Desolation Morris

- 2 years ago

- 2 0

From giant bugs to giant blobs. From vampire poodles that levitate to werewolves. Goosebumps promises big things, delivers it in a somewhat ridiculous manner and sort of ends up falling flat on it’s face in the process.

I’m not much of a Jack Black fan, nor have I read most of the Goosebumps books – I’m not a fan so I’ll be judging this film based solely on how it presents itself without referring to accuracy towards the books or comparisons to the books. This review contains spoilers…FYI.

” What do you mean the McDonalds R19.95 special is over? We were in line for 9 hours! “

Story?

The story follows Jack Black as R.L. Stine, the writer of Goosebumps who had less acting ability than Jack Black…then we have Dylan Minette as Zach and Odeya Rush as Hannah Stine aka ‘girl who smiles weird’.

Zach moves in next to Mr.Stine and has the typical boohoo background story excuse to provide a reason as to why they had to move to the small town which is located very conveniently for a large scale monster invasion. Zach soon gets a massive hardon for Hannah after seeing her once through a window, once behind a fence and once right in front of him and adventure ensues. First they unleash a giant snow man that resembles one of the trolls of Skyrim…and then they unleash Slappy the oddly relatable evil dummy. In fact were I in this movie, I’d be Slappy.

Slappy leads an uprising against Stine and releases every monster he ever dreamt up while browsing 4chan in an attempt to seemingly kill Stine and everyone else in the town.

” Ya’ll motherf*ckers need Jesus. Don’t make me call Michael Jackson. “

As far as I’m concerned it’s not the worst plot I’ve seen, though you could guess most of the twists and turns, you have to bear in mind this film is for kids and people who read the books as kids so it follows a similar line of storytelling as the books would.

I know, I know…I said I wouldn’t bring up the books. Meh.

C Is For Character

Look I don’t like the guy. According to me Jack Black has the acting capacity of a sack of bricks but in a shocking turn of events he actually managed to act a little for this film. His portrayal of Stine is quite enjoyable and he has some amusing little mannerisms and quirks. Stine is a very deep character with real fears, hopes and a personality and this was a welcome surprise in a Jack Black film. He’s not just Jack Black doing and saying stupid stuff – he IS Stine.

Ladies & Gentlemen may I present, Dr. Sheldon Cooper!

Slappy The Dummy is also a hit. I like Slappy. He’s creepy, terrifyingly clinical in his methodical eradication of life in the town and he’s funny to boot. He’s a pissed off puppet and you can relate to why he’s so pissed off, his dilemma is a poetic reflection of Stine himself. Slappy is actually also voiced by Jack Black…and that’s what’s even more shocking.

Jack Black…2 for 1, 2 different characters? Hot damn. I might just begin to like him at this rate.

The rest of the characters, including Zach, Hannah and the mother, stupid aunt and the best friend kid who screams like a bitch are all forgettable both in portrayal and acting. You won’t be going to see this film for ‘girl who smiles weird’ climbing a ferris wheel or the kid who’s actually called CHAMPION biting a werewolf…yes you read that right.

And then?

I have to mention that while I did not particularly enjoy this film, it features some great visuals, sound and does well to convey the general atmosphere of strangeness and adolescent fear.

This is also where it falls flat. Once you get past seeing the major monsters, the rest of them are mere footnotes. The large scale destruction, death and chaos is just a little too hard to swallow for a movie that shouldn’t be taken very seriously and can be a little eye rolling at times. While people who read the books as a kid (such as my wife) will find much enjoyment in seeing their favourite childhood monsters raise some hell – there really isn’t much here for the average movie goer who enjoys a good old trip to the movies.

Pictured here is the town after the monster uprising

The film ends in the typical sequel setup (which has been confirmed in September already) and features no consequences for Stine who basically brought about the death of 100’s of people and the rampant mass destruction of most of the town. In fact…they give him a job as a teacher and he goes on his merry way.

Let’s put the creepy guy who lives alone with a f*cken ghost with children shall we?

What could go wrong?

From giant bugs to giant blobs. From vampire poodles that levitate to werewolves. Goosebumps promises big things, delivers it in a somewhat ridiculous manner and sort of ends up falling flat on it's face in the process. I'm not much of a Jack Black fan, nor have I read most of the Goosebumps books - I'm not a fan so I'll be judging this film based solely on how it presents itself without referring to accuracy towards the books or comparisons to the books. This review contains spoilers...FYI. [caption id="attachment_4630" align="alignnone" width="600"] " What do you mean the McDonalds R19.95 special is over? We were in line for 9 hours! "[/caption] Story? The story follows Jack Black as R.L. Stine, the writer of Goosebumps who had less acting ability than Jack Black...then we have Dylan Minette as Zach and Odeya Rush as Hannah Stine aka 'girl who smiles weird'. Zach moves in next to Mr.Stine and has the typical boohoo background story excuse to provide a reason as to why they had to move to the small town which is located very conveniently for a large scale monster invasion. Zach soon gets a massive hardon for Hannah after seeing her once through a window, once behind a fence and once right in front of him and adventure ensues. First they unleash a giant snow man that resembles one of the trolls of Skyrim...and then they unleash Slappy the oddly relatable evil dummy. In fact were I in this movie, I'd be Slappy. Slappy leads an uprising against Stine and releases every monster he ever dreamt up while browsing 4chan in an attempt to seemingly kill Stine and everyone else in the town. [caption id="attachment_4627" align="alignnone" width="600"] " Ya'll motherf*ckers need Jesus. Don't make me call Michael Jackson. "[/caption] As far as I'm concerned it's not the worst plot I've seen, though you could guess most of the twists and turns, you have to bear in mind this film is for kids and people who read the books as kids so it follows a similar line of storytelling as the books would. I know, I know...I said I wouldn't bring up the books. Meh. C Is For Character Look I don't like the guy. According to me Jack Black has the acting capacity of a sack of bricks but in a shocking turn of events he actually managed to act a little for this film. His portrayal of Stine is quite enjoyable and he has some amusing little mannerisms and quirks. Stine is a very deep character with real fears, hopes and a personality and this was a welcome surprise in a Jack Black film. He's not just Jack Black doing and saying stupid stuff - he IS Stine. [caption id="attachment_4628" align="alignnone" width="600"] Ladies & Gentlemen may I present, Dr. Sheldon Cooper![/caption] Slappy The Dummy is also a hit. I like Slappy. He's creepy, terrifyingly clinical in his methodical eradication of life in the town and he's funny to boot. He's a…

Movie Reviews: Goosebumps

Movie Reviews: Goosebumps

2015-11-13

Desolation Morris

Good kids movie!

Total - 6.5

65
6.5

This is not a date night movie and the whole family certainly won't enjoy this film. This movie is for fans of the books, newcomers with a nuance for retro monsters and small children. Go see it if you're not in the mood for anything too serious.

User Rating: 2.7 ( 1 votes)

7

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Desolation Morris

Guest Contributor - Entertainment

Werner is a strange one...he quotes a lot of things...incoherently I might add, also he reviews stuff from time to time. We still don't truly understand what he is or where he came from.

To quote him verbatim:

Make sure they see my twitter handle so I can get hookers and drugs.

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featured · Film · Goosebumps · Goosebumps Movie Review · Jack Black · Movie Review · Movies

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